Saturday, June 9, 2012
1 down, 139 to go
I have made it 24 hours. I consider it an accomplishment but know that the encounter with the make up artist is still fresh in my mind so it's easier right now. I also have those hideous pictures with the freakish color eyebrows still fresh in my mind. So while today might be easy, tomorrow will get harder. As will the day after that. And so on. But now I have 139 days to go so I'll just be happy to have 1 day down.
Friday, June 8, 2012
Well, you have no eyebrows
Yesterday I went to Sephora for some new make up as the reliable eyebrow-liner color I rely so heavily on is no longer being made. Damn Bobbi Brown! While I was there I figured I'd have my make up done since I had a wedding and a party to go to. It was a disaster.
First, I work with a girl. She removes all my eyebrow make up and then walks away for about 5 minutes. I am left sitting in the chair, eyebrowless with my biggest insecurity staring back at me in the massive mirror next to the chair. I swear I was sweating just waiting for customers to point and stare at me. Finally she comes back and after 3 times trying to paint in my eyebrows with some stencil, I look like a clown. Off the eyebrows go again.
After three massively unsuccessful attempts she calls over another make up artist. He looks at me dismissively and asks me what look I'm going for. I tell him I need a new color, and ask him to do my make up so that it looks as natural as possible. He then curtly responds "well you have no eyebrows so nothing will look natural". I could feel my stomach drop and my eyes well up. It was awful but I was so embarrassed and at this point I didn't know what to do and couldn't just walk out since i had no eyebrows. After one or two attempts he makes something that looks decent.
Then come the pictures. While thinking I looked okay, my fiance took a picture of me and a friend at the wedding and I wanted to cry. The eyebrows looked this freaky shade of brown and red. Of course he told me they looked good but I deleted all the pictures from my camera because they were so hard to look at. Unfortunately I can't delete the pictures from the professional photographer and how sad that I will never want to look at a picture of me and my friend at his wedding.
The shame and embarrassment I felt yesterday was awful. I'm not sure how I ended up back in that place but it feels like I never left. I have 140 days until my wedding. 140 days to get back my confidence, 140 days to I have to take pictures that I cant and won't want to erase. 140 days to grow my hair back. 140 days to give myself the only wedding gift I really want- my hair.
First, I work with a girl. She removes all my eyebrow make up and then walks away for about 5 minutes. I am left sitting in the chair, eyebrowless with my biggest insecurity staring back at me in the massive mirror next to the chair. I swear I was sweating just waiting for customers to point and stare at me. Finally she comes back and after 3 times trying to paint in my eyebrows with some stencil, I look like a clown. Off the eyebrows go again.
After three massively unsuccessful attempts she calls over another make up artist. He looks at me dismissively and asks me what look I'm going for. I tell him I need a new color, and ask him to do my make up so that it looks as natural as possible. He then curtly responds "well you have no eyebrows so nothing will look natural". I could feel my stomach drop and my eyes well up. It was awful but I was so embarrassed and at this point I didn't know what to do and couldn't just walk out since i had no eyebrows. After one or two attempts he makes something that looks decent.
Then come the pictures. While thinking I looked okay, my fiance took a picture of me and a friend at the wedding and I wanted to cry. The eyebrows looked this freaky shade of brown and red. Of course he told me they looked good but I deleted all the pictures from my camera because they were so hard to look at. Unfortunately I can't delete the pictures from the professional photographer and how sad that I will never want to look at a picture of me and my friend at his wedding.
The shame and embarrassment I felt yesterday was awful. I'm not sure how I ended up back in that place but it feels like I never left. I have 140 days until my wedding. 140 days to get back my confidence, 140 days to I have to take pictures that I cant and won't want to erase. 140 days to grow my hair back. 140 days to give myself the only wedding gift I really want- my hair.
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