In the past week my eyelashes have certainly received a break and I haven't picked one but my left eyebrow still doesn't exist and the right one is about the same as it's been for a while- too thin and short with very little hair. The little stubby hairs that come in, and they come in surprisingly fast, make me so anxious and I can not leave them alone and touch them incessantly. Now that I don't have the tweezers, my beloved and hated tweezers, I have resorted back to hands and even, shamefully, scissors at one point. Yes, scissors, just so I can relieve myself of the anxiety and get the damn stubby hairs out.
I have 21 days until Jamaica. 21 days to get myself together and stop this nonsense so that I can swim and be in the sun without worrying that my eyebrows are disappearing and/or extremely and noticeably absent. The pilates has been helping but work is so stressful right now that I allow myself the bullshit excuses. So I will just continue to try and fight my way through the next 21 days.
Wednesday, November 9, 2011
Tuesday, November 1, 2011
New Month, New Resolve (or so I hope), New Picture
Making it 24 hours has been harder then I thought and the last few days have been far from successful. There is something about the start of a new month (which ends in a trip to Jamaica) that I hope holds some promise.
The tweezer is now gone (about damn time) and i have picked at the skin on my pointer finger, the one with the permanent indentation, that I generally use to pull so now that is harder and painful (whatever works). I dont think the stress has been helping and lately I find that I'm also grinding my teeth and have been more tired than usual. I'm trying to address those issues which I know impact my pulling. Exercise has been almost impossible because my back has been bad but last week I tried pilates and it was WONDERFUL. It's sadly too expensive to do all the time but, as life might have it, yesterday we picked up a decent case so I'm just taking a few hundred dollars and buying a pilates package- it is more than I would normally spend but if it helps me feel better and in turn stop pulling then it's worth it. I need to address the stress in my life if I'm going to ever start making progress again with trich.
So my next trial class is today at 4:00 and then I am just going to take the money and pick one of the two pilates places I've tried- money be damned right now. If I have to give up on going out one night a week so I can do pilates twice a week for the next few weeks then the trade off is worth it. At least it is a start. That plus throwing out the tweezers I hope will help me start heading in the right direction..... and now to put aside the shame and show you my no-make up photo of the week (very scary- i have NEVER shown anyone before!)
The tweezer is now gone (about damn time) and i have picked at the skin on my pointer finger, the one with the permanent indentation, that I generally use to pull so now that is harder and painful (whatever works). I dont think the stress has been helping and lately I find that I'm also grinding my teeth and have been more tired than usual. I'm trying to address those issues which I know impact my pulling. Exercise has been almost impossible because my back has been bad but last week I tried pilates and it was WONDERFUL. It's sadly too expensive to do all the time but, as life might have it, yesterday we picked up a decent case so I'm just taking a few hundred dollars and buying a pilates package- it is more than I would normally spend but if it helps me feel better and in turn stop pulling then it's worth it. I need to address the stress in my life if I'm going to ever start making progress again with trich.
So my next trial class is today at 4:00 and then I am just going to take the money and pick one of the two pilates places I've tried- money be damned right now. If I have to give up on going out one night a week so I can do pilates twice a week for the next few weeks then the trade off is worth it. At least it is a start. That plus throwing out the tweezers I hope will help me start heading in the right direction..... and now to put aside the shame and show you my no-make up photo of the week (very scary- i have NEVER shown anyone before!)
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