I Quit!

I did it. I finally did it. After 3 years of being unhappy with my job I finally quit to pursue my own firm. It's been an emotional couple weeks- I really threw it all into high gear- but I finally got up the nerve to do it and, to top it off, I have not pulled my eyelashes despite the stress of it all. Ok, I admit that I have been having a little more trouble with my eyebrows but its not out of control. Considering how hard it can be not to pull during stressful times I am pretty proud of myself and again, attribute a lot of the success to just keeping my hands busy. It sounds silly but it works, I just find something to do and spend very little time in front of the mirror.

As for the job, I'm not sure what the future brings. Giving up a paycheck isnt easy but the signs have all been there and this has been a year of change for me (and self-improvement) so this is just the next big step. I'm excited to see what can happen. I have managed to control my eyelash pulling trich, which had control over me for 22 years, so I think anything can be possible. Yes, i still need to work on my battle with the eyelashes but I'm trying to cut myself a little slack and be grateful for the progress I've made. I'm hoping that I also just eliminated a big stressor from my life by quitting my job, or at least a big source of unhappiness. Oh, and did I mention I also havent smoked in 3 months? :)

Finding the balance

Now that I've pretty much stopped pulling my eyelashes (i wont say completely stopped b/c I'm sticking to the old docs "you have beaten it until 2 years" statement), I'm trying to find a balance with my eyebrows which are a little trickier. When it comes to eyelashes, pulling or plucking at all just cant happen or its clearly noticeable. The eyebrows are obviously more of a gray area.

For me, I always overdo it when I tweeze or "groom" my eyebrows. Its compulsive but a vicious cycle. I know they are too thin, I get that. After having my make up done a few weeks ago I realize how much better it would look to have thicker eyebrows- the question is whether I can get to that point. Once the hairs start coming in, and it looks "scraggly" (is that even a word) I become obsessed. I cant have tiny little hairs all over the place even if in a few weeks it would mean thicker, nicer eyebrows. Maybe it would be different if they could instantly fill in, then I wouuld live with it, but its the interim eyebrows that ruin it for me.

I know I should just stop pulling altogether but I know that just isn't likely to happen for me. I cant have the scraggly look or I know I will start pulling and once that happens, I will overdo it and be left with half a thin eyebrow. In the past it has not uncommon for me to have about 1/2" inch of eyebrow- straight and thin- clearly over-plucked to the trillionth degree. I don't even know if you can call that an eyebrow. Its more like above-the-eye-hairs all in a row.

Its been suggested to have them waxed but I'm still in that phase where there just wouldn't be enough to wax and I think most women who do wax other areas would agree you have to be able to live with scraggle for a little while before you can have someone do it. I just cant get to the point where it grows out enough to do that. Again, the vicious cycle continues. I think this "overgrooming" is pretty common. Also, I've never really had to wax any area since I've never been able to stand much hair anywhere on my body.

Any tips on how to find this balance? I'm just hoping it will come to me, that there will be some big change or that I can not pull or "groom" long enough to get them in and then have it either professionally done or at least be grooming a generally larger eyebrow. We'll see what happens. I guess this is my next big test but fortunately I am still going very strong with my eyelashes which is a big relief (and that gives me hope I can tackle anything!)