It has been 24 hours since my last post and I've pulled 1 eyebrow and 1 eyelash. It was in the morning when I was thinking about my day and not paying much attention to what I was doing. At first, I was able to resist, catch myself, and not pull. Five minutes later they were gone. After a few deep breaths and reminding myself that I can do this, I got up, walked around, and havent pulled since.
It's a start. Not a great start but at least I'm more conscious of my actions so now I will try and go 24 hours without pulling any of them. This will clearly be a daily struggle (again) for a while.
Wednesday, October 26, 2011
Tuesday, October 25, 2011
Proof is in the photo
So here it is. Granted I have make up on (and not a good job with it today) and my bottom lashes, which are the most visible, look pretty good but trust me even this picture with my non-existent eyebrows dont do justice to how bad it really is. But I'm showing you anyway. Have to start somewhere.
A long hiatus
Wow. I had no idea how long I had been MIA. I'm sorry. It's funny (not haha funny) but the worse I am doing with my trich the less I write on my blog. Whether its embarassment, denial, exhaustion, I just dont know.
Needless to say, these last few months have not been my finest. I'm not really sure where it all went wrong but I've sucked. As I type this, I have a total of maybe 5 eyebrow hairs remaining on my left eye and the right one is thin to the point of being nonexistent. My eyelashes have not survived the last few months too well either. I still have eyelashes but I am back to drawing them in so they look fuller.
I've admittedly been lazy and the old habit of making excuses, really more like just flat out lying to myself about how bad things are, is clearly back in full force. Lately I can't make it more than a day without pulling. My self confidence is down, my guard is back up about anyone getting too close, it just sucks.
Over the next few months I have a lot going on. In just over a month my loving and supportive boyfriend and I will be going to Jamaica for a week of rest and relaxation. Jamaica involves water, swimming, bright lights, heat and sweating- none of which are easy against the rage of trich. How wonderful it would be to go back to those few months where I was carefree about all those things, when my eyelashes and eyebrows looked so great that I did not need to worry. Following Jamaica will be a big trial with a LOT of press coverage- yet another "should be" major incentive.
I can (and have) make a thousand excuses. I can also list 100 reasons why "now is a hard time to stop". It's bullshit. There is never a good or bad time- I just need to stop, it's not going to happen magically or become I will it to be so. It's only a possibility if I take control of the situation. So right now I pledge to make it until tomorrow. And then I will move on from there. Luck, prayers, and support are greatly appreciated as always :)
Hope you are all doing better than I am!
Needless to say, these last few months have not been my finest. I'm not really sure where it all went wrong but I've sucked. As I type this, I have a total of maybe 5 eyebrow hairs remaining on my left eye and the right one is thin to the point of being nonexistent. My eyelashes have not survived the last few months too well either. I still have eyelashes but I am back to drawing them in so they look fuller.
I've admittedly been lazy and the old habit of making excuses, really more like just flat out lying to myself about how bad things are, is clearly back in full force. Lately I can't make it more than a day without pulling. My self confidence is down, my guard is back up about anyone getting too close, it just sucks.
Over the next few months I have a lot going on. In just over a month my loving and supportive boyfriend and I will be going to Jamaica for a week of rest and relaxation. Jamaica involves water, swimming, bright lights, heat and sweating- none of which are easy against the rage of trich. How wonderful it would be to go back to those few months where I was carefree about all those things, when my eyelashes and eyebrows looked so great that I did not need to worry. Following Jamaica will be a big trial with a LOT of press coverage- yet another "should be" major incentive.
I can (and have) make a thousand excuses. I can also list 100 reasons why "now is a hard time to stop". It's bullshit. There is never a good or bad time- I just need to stop, it's not going to happen magically or become I will it to be so. It's only a possibility if I take control of the situation. So right now I pledge to make it until tomorrow. And then I will move on from there. Luck, prayers, and support are greatly appreciated as always :)
Hope you are all doing better than I am!
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