The Sweetest Revenge

I live in a city of over 8 million people. One would think that with that many people you wouldn't have many chance encounters. Sure, I see friends in my neighborhood and places that I know are local hang outs. And yes, once in a while I will just randomly run into someone somewhere unexpected but that should be the exception, not the rule.

There is one person in this city I never wanted to see again. One person. Out of 8 million. Its now official that the phrase "what are the odds?" just doesnt apply to me (seriously, people have been saying that to me a lot over the years and the only time it hasnt come true is the lotto- go figure).

Anyway, on Friday I was leaving the courthouse kind of late- much later than I usually do- since I stayed to speak to my client and her family after the scheduled status conference. We were walking to the subway and I was listening to my client and her family discuss how they were getting home. I had my head down and was honestly paying more attention to making sure I didnt trip in my heels than with listening to my clients. Then I looked up.

Coming out of the subway was the only ex-boyfriend I have lost complete contact with. Remember the Italian guy from a few months ago? The one who turned out to be a total liar who was married? The one who was supposed to be in Italy taking care of his seriously ill mother? Oh yes, thats the one. And he was stariing at me. While my stomach turned itself in knots and lodged itself right in my throat I managed to keep my cool. Fortunately I was with my clients so he didnt approach me and I certainly didnt approach him- when I found out he was married I told him I never wanted to see him again and I wasnt kidding. I NEVER wanted to see him again. He was the first guy in years I've really liked and I was just feeling like the whole thing was behind me.

And then there he was. Yes, it sucked. Yes, it brought it all back up. And yes, normally I would have gone home and probably given into the urges that would inevitable rear their ugly heads while I got rid of my nervous energy. But I DIDNT PULL A SINGLE HAIR. Nope, I made it. The best part of the entire awful encounter was that I looked and felt good while he looked tired and crappy. I even had on a cute outfit (thank god i decided to suffer in heels-which I rarely do-and I had a great dress on!)

Having my hair back is just part of the equation. Fighting trich has caused me to find strength in myself I didnt even know I had. Being open and honest has given me courage rather than the shame and embarrassment I've felt for years. I felt good, really good, and in a situation like that, isnt that all you can hope for? to walk away feeling good about yourself ?(even if you still hate the situation and feel sadness over the loss of the person from your life?). Friday night I didnt want to pull because not only do I not want to lose my hair again, I dont want to lose that confidence and strength in myself- he will NOT take that away from me :)