Quarterly Review (Part 1 of 2)

I took last week off to go down to Florida and de-stress a bit which was fabulous (although I think it was warmer in NYC). It also gave me some time to really think about the last few months and the progress I've made with trich but it also gave me time to think about what I havent been giving to those who are kind enough to read my blog. I dont feel as though I've really given any helpful advice- I've talked a lot about what its like and kind of touched on what I'm doing but not the full extent.

Obviously I'm not an expert although I would think that having the disease for 20+ years could qualify me as one in a court of law (the lawyer in me never fails to come through). I remember countless times that I've searched online for success stories- people that have really beaten trich- only to be disappointed with the results.

I'm not a success story- yes, I have back 99% of my eyelashes and eyebrows and have had them for over a month now but its still a daily struggle. That said, I know there are some people who would LOVE to be where I am with trich. I cant give that to you, I think it is different for everyone but I'm going to use this post to do a little recap and hopefully offer enough suggestions about what I've tried that it will work for someone else.

Online obsession: For years I pretended my trich didnt consume most of my life but now I am almost obsessed with it. I've spent countless hours researching advice, tips, anything. Obviously I've also started this blog. I've joined the online yahoo group (which you can find on the TLC website). I have tried to gather as much info on the disease itself and on any possible tip that could help me beat the urges.

My online obsession has helped in a few ways. You never know what tips might help but also forcing myself to confront trich head on has made me extremely conscious of my behavior. Sometimes you dont even realize you are pulling but when you think about trich all the time, you suddenly become much more aware of your urges and your behavioral patterns. Also, connecting with other people that have trich is incredibly comforting. The support I've received from this blog and from the online group has been amazing- its not often people understand what its like but having people dealing with the same daily struggle as you, particularly when its anonymous, is great.

For some reason I found this website, http://www.empowher.com/users/natalie, particularly helpful. I cant explain it too well but it was the first time I've ever seen someone with trich that I felt I could relate to(besides family and to be honest I've never actually met anyone else with trich-usually people I've spoke to are online and you dont see their face so its hard to personally relate sometimes). Hearing this woman speak about her struggle made me feel more confident about my own. Also, the TLC website is a great resource and obviously other peoples blogs on trichs can be great (when they are consistent which isnt always the case)-you can access several of them through TLC's website.


Opening up to friends and family: As you may have read in previous posts, I have come out to lots of friends and family about my trich over the last three months. At first it was awful and hard and I could barely get the words out without crying. I rarely spoke about it openly before- my family knew and a handful of friends have been told over the years but this was something different. I told everyone from my hairdresser to the make up artist at MAC to friends I've only had for a couple of years. I've told more people than I've even mentioned on my blog.

In my mind, doing this was my point of not return. I made myself accountable and I cant tell you how good it now feels. What I never expected was how many people replied with "i used to pull out ______" or "i do something similar". It was shocking- I've been so consumed with my own shame that I never realized how many people really have similar problems. While I know from personal experience that not everyone reacts positively to learning about someone pulling out their hair, out of the 20 or so people I've now told not a single one has judged me and everyone has been incredibly supportive.

In all honesty, very few of the people that I've told have followed up and asked me about how I'm doing but I know its not because they dont care, its because they do and they know how hard it has been (in the past) for me to talk about. Sometimes I'll just bring it up to them to try and show that I can talk about it but even when this doesnt happen I know that they know. I know that i cant hide my trich behind BS excuses any more and that if they didnt notice the missing eyelashes and eyebrows before, they certainly do now and so I cant fail. Every little bit helps.

If there was one thing I could recommend to people with trich it would be to start talking about it openly. Yes, it is not going to be easy at first but it is worth it and now I'd really have no problem telling a complete stranger. Really (3 months ago even the idea of that may have sent me into a complete panic).


Change your routine:I would guess that we all have places or situations where we tend to pull more than others. DO SOMETHING DIFFERENT. I have organized my entire apartment just to keep busy- down to my utensil drawers in the kitchen. Anything that keeps me busy for as long as possible is a plus. When I get home from work I immediately go wash my face- not just with face wash but with toner, and cleansing pads, mud masks, collagen creme- the works. And i now do this every day. The tingling, clean feeling makes me not want to touch my face.

When you have an urge, move. Literally, get off your butt and find something to do. I have walked around my apartment in the middle of the night like a zombie (granted I was still awake since I dont pull as much in bed but I was still exhausted) and organized my DVD collection just to buy myself some time until an urge subsided. This takes real commitment. Do whatever it takes to break up the urge- sometimes, especially at first, this can mean a constant up and down rather than relaxing and watching TV on the sofa. As soon as I find myself absentmindedly stroking my hair (even if i'm telling myself i wont pull) I break up my routine and go somewhere else in my apartment, do something else, whatever it takes to keep busy.

Changes in diet: This is a topic I havent gone into much on my blog. Through my research I've found several suggestions for changing my diet but frankly I didnt think I could ever sacrifice my caffeine and chocolate addiction, even if it meant beating trich. I mean, is anything worth giving up coffee and chocolate?

Ok, I cant say that I've given them up but I've definitely cut back and I dont know if its the fact I'm 3 months into this battle anyway or actually the change in my diet but the urges are getting significantly better. I noticed this first when I was in Florida. Rather than my standard venti bold Starbucks in the morning followed by another regular sized coffee during the day I was only have one cup of coffee in the morning (its also been hard since i'm convinced my massive caffeine intake keeps me thin without working out but I digress). Last week I also wasnt having my regular daily chocolate intake (which can sometimes consist of up to 4 cadbury eggs a day which I"m obsessed with). I'm trying to do about the same with coffee and caffeine this week to make sure it really is diet and not just the general relaxation mode that comes with being on vacation. The urges this week have been MUCH better than they usually are. Still havent decided if it's worth it (assuming I can keep up progress without going into chocolate withdrawal) but its certainly worth really considering...........

Anyway, thats about all I can write for now but I will follow up with more tomorrow. Again, I hope that maybe something will help anyone that is reading who feels as lost as I did. Good luck!