Another step in the right direction

Turns out each small step is really helping me gain some momentum and yesterday was another productive trich day. Not only have I managed to go another 24 hours without pulling (I'm heading into 4 totally pull-free days now!) but I have continued my quest to gain a support group.

Yesterday I was on the phone with my friend who has been in a long job hunt- she was feeling kind of down because it's really crunch time whether she should give up on NYC and move back to her midwest home state and I just blurted it out. Not knowing quite how she would react, particuarly bc we havent been friends for all that long, I was so relieved by her reaction- its almost like it didnt even phase her and that the only weird thing about me pulling out my hair was that I was uncomfortable talking about it.

I also spoke to my grandmother, who lives in Florida, and whom I'm very close with. She was shocked, supportive, but shocked (which is shocking to me since I assumed everyone knew). She had lots of questions which were very hard, and I was very emotional talking to her about it, but it still felt good. She did start talking about my moms trich and I dont know if my mom has blocked it out of her mind or if my grandmother is truning senile but my grandmother made it seem like my moms trich was MUCH worse than she ever let on and that at one point she did have a bald spot on the top of her head (and that she had been doing it since she was 9 or so, at that time the doctor gave cortisone cream thinking that would help- not sure the deal with that). I'm not going to say anything at this point to my mom because that's her story and I suppose she'll talk to me about it if she wants.

I also had a long conversation with the hynotist yeterday (option 1)- his name is Jeffrey Rose and he works at the Advanced Hypnosis Center. He was nice enough to spend about 45 (free) minutes on the phone with me explaining the process (i had spoken to his colleague earlier in the day and didnt have a good feeling that hypnosis was right for me). I still cant really say that i understand how it works but he seemed to think that with the right lifestyle changes (bye bye my gross late night smoking habit and my daily massive caffeine intake) the hypnosis could make a huge difference. He suggested lowering my caffeine intake, taking fish oil pills, changing my sleep habits and at least 1/2 hour of exercise every day- that coupled with the hypnosis and he said he's had great success. It would be about $550 (i factored in more than one session just so I'm prepared if its not the insta-fix I am hoping for and I need a follow up visit)..... I think I need to talk to people who have trich to see if this ever works first.......

Option 2- in the middle of writing this post I received a call from the Advanced Behavioral Health Center I wrote about yesterday. The CSW from the center, Suzanne Feinstein, said that she has worked with thousands of trich patients and has had a great success rate with obstacle building and behavior modification. I asked her about hypnosis and she indicated that she doesn't really know the success rates because, for trich, few of her clients have actually tried it (does this mean because it worked and they didn't have to go see her?) She said that she had one patient who it initially worked for but then the woman relapsed, which is the biggest problem for trich sufferers. The cost for this one is $375 for the initial evaluation and $275 for each weekly appointment - while insurance may reimburse me for some or all of the cost, that is a lot of money to have to put up front, especially if treatment could take a few months (and I'm ready to stop now, although I do want to stop for good!) Damn I wish i could win the lottery and I'd just try it all.

Anyway, that is where I am right now. Hopefully I will be able to get in touch with some people who have tried hypnosis for trich and get some feedback which will help me make up my mind. I guess the next step is to also talk to my insurance company and see what could be covered. While my momentum has been great the last few days, I have a big trial coming up and I'm now getting very nervous that if I dont figure it all out now (which i know isnt rational) then I'm going to lose this burst of willpower and go back (again) to square one. Yes, I know thats a negative outlook but I'm doing my best here. For today I'm just going to keep trying to make it all work and hope that my progress continues. Thanks for reading!

Reason to stop #5- crowded situations where you are forced to talk to people very close up and become extremely self conscious.