The last few weeks have been completely crazy and I"m hoping to finally finish up a trial tomorrow which is why I've been a bit MIA. With all the craziness there have been some ups and downs. I'll start with the downs.
The hypnosis doesnt work for me. Sadly it just didn't stick. About a week ago, despite the affirmation, I gave in to the pulling. For the last 2 1/2 weeks I've wanted to pull. I only pulled about 2 hairs but the urges are back in full force. Knowing that things were getting tough, I went back to the email to listen to the recording of my hypnosis sessions which had been helping. Sadly, they were "expired" and I can no longer access them. I emailed Nancy in the hopes that she would send me a copy of the recordings (i did spend close to $800 for the two sessions, I figured I could at least get a copy) but she has yet to respond and it's been over a week. It kind of pisses me off. Actually, it really pisses me off. I have another appointment wiht her scheduled for next Wednesday but unless she suddenly sends me the recordings (and permanent copies) i will not be attending.
On a positive note, yesterday I watched the video on the upcoming HBO documentary that features footage from my trial last March. I was so nervous that the footage would show a close up of my eyes and eyebrows- and couldnt recall exactly what shape my lashes and eyebrows were in- but fortunately it looks great and you cant even tell. phew. The documentary is on the NYC sex crimes unit and is tough to watch but interesting- it iwll be airing on HBO on June 20 and I recommend watching it (other than for just selfish reasons- my trial footage is not a big part of the film)
Also on a positive note, the hair I was worried wasnt fully coming back in has made a lot of improvement. I have also been handling the urges pretty well as I'm motivated by my upcoming trip to italy and cohabitation with the boyfriend. It hasnt been easy but I've been keeping busy and getting up when the urges hit so it's been manageable.
So that's about it for now. I wish I could have had better news with the hypnosis as i was really really hoping it would be a success. I know that Christina from the trich support group website had said it has very mixed results but I had high hopes. Oh well. I will just have to keep fighting. Buy-bye $800, at least I tried :(
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That's disappointing but you're right, at least you tried.
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