Yesterday I went to Sephora for some new make up as the reliable eyebrow-liner color I rely so heavily on is no longer being made. Damn Bobbi Brown! While I was there I figured I'd have my make up done since I had a wedding and a party to go to. It was a disaster.
First, I work with a girl. She removes all my eyebrow make up and then walks away for about 5 minutes. I am left sitting in the chair, eyebrowless with my biggest insecurity staring back at me in the massive mirror next to the chair. I swear I was sweating just waiting for customers to point and stare at me. Finally she comes back and after 3 times trying to paint in my eyebrows with some stencil, I look like a clown. Off the eyebrows go again.
After three massively unsuccessful attempts she calls over another make up artist. He looks at me dismissively and asks me what look I'm going for. I tell him I need a new color, and ask him to do my make up so that it looks as natural as possible. He then curtly responds "well you have no eyebrows so nothing will look natural". I could feel my stomach drop and my eyes well up. It was awful but I was so embarrassed and at this point I didn't know what to do and couldn't just walk out since i had no eyebrows. After one or two attempts he makes something that looks decent.
Then come the pictures. While thinking I looked okay, my fiance took a picture of me and a friend at the wedding and I wanted to cry. The eyebrows looked this freaky shade of brown and red. Of course he told me they looked good but I deleted all the pictures from my camera because they were so hard to look at. Unfortunately I can't delete the pictures from the professional photographer and how sad that I will never want to look at a picture of me and my friend at his wedding.
The shame and embarrassment I felt yesterday was awful. I'm not sure how I ended up back in that place but it feels like I never left. I have 140 days until my wedding. 140 days to get back my confidence, 140 days to I have to take pictures that I cant and won't want to erase. 140 days to grow my hair back. 140 days to give myself the only wedding gift I really want- my hair.
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wow, what a flippin jerk :(
ReplyDeleteSo sorry that happened to you. That makeup "artist" was a complete jerk. I hope you are doing better now and you are sticking to your goals. I have trich and pulled my eyebrows and eyelashes out when I was younger. I grew out of pulling my eyebrows and eventually my bottom lashes. I'm 32 and have been pulling since I was 9. My eyebrows have been good since maybe 13, but my eyelashes are a completely different story. I know how you feel, you aren't alone. I hope you are doing well!!!
ReplyDeleteThank you. Sounds like we have very similar stories although I now pull mostly my eyebrows while you pull mostly your eyelashes. I'll be 32 next month and have been pulling since I was 8. How are you doing? Such a terrible disease to have, I hope one day someone finds a cure so they dont have to be self conscious most of their life like we (or at least I) have been!
DeleteBlah! I replied to this and I must have hit the wrong button :(
DeleteAnyway, I'm doing better, recently stopped pulling and am on day 14. Have gotten past the stubbly annoying stage, and I am doing great! I'm at my worst when I think about my eyelashes, even though trich is at the forefront of my mind most days.
How are you????? Please keep us posted. You've had your wedding yes? :)
I've been pulling my brows and lashs since I was 12 and went through an extremely dramatic life event...I'm now 25 and draw my brows on everyday because there is nothing left. I have never been more self conscious about anything, I can barely look others in the eye because I'm terrified to see them starring at my brows
ReplyDeleteJust want to thank you for this thread. I am 42 light blonde, fair and eyebrowless. I have struggled with this since my early teens. Though I have yet to find a solution that I'm happy with, it's really nice to know that I'm not alone. Thank you again :)
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