Turning 30 wasn't as bad as I expected. Most of my friends were a bit ahead of me and some of them were really having a hard time so I was prepared for kicking and screaming. It really feels just like 29. The night before I had an hour or two where I mourned the loss of my 20's, but then I realized that it's kind of like getting a fresh start and I should just embrace it and be happy with where I am in my life at the moment.
The last week was great. Boy 1 and I went to Pennsylvania and went white water rafting, cave rappelling, hiking- basically just enjoyed some quiet time outside of NYC. I wasnt sure how 5 days away together would go but it was fine. The thing I'm having the hardest time with is deciding what qualities I'm really looking for in the person I could end up with. As I mentioned, he and boy 2 (who has taken a definite back seat but who is still pursuing) couldnt be more different. Boy 1 is extremely quiet and doesnt show a lot of emotion- good emotion or bad really. He is very content but so incredibly nice, truthworthy and just very genuine. But I'm a talkative and extremely motivated person- can the two work together? Maybe I need someone that isnt a type A like I am, but will that work? Ugh, I hate these decisions.
On another note, it is time to initiate month 2's goals. i want to add to month 1, so month 1's goals are still in effect, especially the exercise which i really need to step up. But I'm still not smoking, I'm sleeping better, sticking to my nighttime face-washing regiment, and basically not pulling (still nothing on my eyelashes although i pulled a few eyebrows last night when I was tired and driving around looking for parking- extremely aggravated and just started pulling).
Month 2 Goals:
1. Budget my finances- this is something that causes me a lot of stress. Between my student loans and just general bills I am horrible with finances and often live beyond my means and then will be up at night worrying about how to pay for everything. That needs to end- for my credit (which took a hit about 2 years ago after my student loans were 60 days late) and for my peace of mind. This month I'm going to work on fixing my old credit issues, coming up with a manageable budget and a plan for saving money. Stress results in pulling and I cant take that chance.
2. Be grateful- There are so many things in life that I tend to take for granted. Yes, I am extremely grateful for what I have and the opportunities I have been given, but I need to learn to be more content with my life as it is. I'm hoping this will also help me to relax a bit and learn to live in the moment instead of always looking ahead. I want to come up with 3 things every day, big or small, that I am grateful for in my life and at least one good thing that happened that day. Again, anxiety results in me slipping and I need to be more grateful for the little things, like the 30 days I haven't pulled an eyelash, so that when something hard or bad happens, I don't lose control.
3. Eat healthier and more natural foods- I have read a lot about food and its possible effect on trich over the last nine months or so and it certainly seems that there is a correlation between eating healthier and pulling less. Specifically, I've read (and found from my own mini-trials) that drinking less caffeine (which I now do) and eating less processed sugar, along with other dietary changes, can make a big difference in battling trich successfully. So it is time to give up my cupcakes and my snack foods and really eat healthier (after quitting smoking I could also now use to drop about 5 pounds). I am going to try and eat more fruits and vegetables, spend more time at farmers markets (mainly because I always LOVE very fresh food and would be more inclined to eat it) and generally limit the amount of processed foods that I eat.
So that's it- on top of last months goals I am adding these 3 new goals. Here's to month 2 and a healthy and happy 30th year! Bye bye 20's!
Friday, September 24, 2010
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