The weirdest thing has happened. I have no desire to pull my eyelashes. I didnt want to say anything before but I dont even have urges to pull them and it's been that way since I quit smoking. The urge to pull my eyebrows is still there, although not as strong, but for over 3 weeks I've wanted nothing to do with my eyelashes, even the "out of place" ones. I'm so happy that they are back, almost completely at this point, but I'm very freaked out about the feeling that the urges seem to have gone away. I know I still cant let my guard down, that this very possibly won't last, but I'm happy with it for now and it makes not pulling my eyebrows a little bit easier somehow. Can this really happen?
Years ago my mother told me that one day she had just stopped pulling. She had not pulled for as long as I had, not even close- maybe a year- and that she pulled out all her eyelashes and then basically just stopped. She said once in a while she would get a small urge to pull but nothing she couldn't fight off. I thought it was bullshit to be honest. My cousin suffered from trich for close to 12 years and I'm coming up on 22 years. That sounds insane seeing it again on paper. I have been pulling out my hair for 22 years. More then 2 decades. My 20's were not easy for some many reasons but I'm determined to make my 30's (which start next week!) better.
I also must confess that I have not really been pulling from other areas which I normally obsess over also (belly button region, the occasional dark chest hair, the pubic region) but don't spend as much time focusing on because no one can really see them anyway while my eyebrows and eyelashes are obviously very visible. Normally I shave almost everything just so that I'm not constantly pulling but again, I just haven't really felt the need to over the last few weeks. Yes, I am more inclined to pull from other areas and still occasionally do but even that has significantly decreased.
I'm really terrified to publish this post. I'm afraid that as soon as I do, the urges will come back threefold. This cant happen. This doesn't happen, does it? No way. It's got to come back which should be obvious as I still love the outer eyebrow hairs and the feel of tugging them out. I'm certainly not letting up fighting it but I'll take whatever help I can get right now.........
Monday, September 13, 2010
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You know, my mom told me the same thing. That one day she just didn't have the desire to pull anymore. It makes me wonder and hope!
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