As expected the last few days off have been incredibly helpful in getting me back on track with fighting my trich and I've been pull free for several days. Time at the beach has also been a great reminder as to why I cant stand not having eyebrows and eyelashes- the effort it takes to constantly make sure "everything" is perfectly covered up is exhausting.
Even though the bald spots are very small I'm still overly self conscious about it and have to make sure to carry my eyeliner and mascara everywhere. When I went swimming yesterday my first thought upon getting out of the water was how fast i could get to the bathroom and secretly check to make sure my make up was in tact. I hated every second that my focus went to trich. I missed the feeling of not having to worry about it now that I know how that feels. I miss the few months where I didnt have to worry about my eye make up smudging or my eyebrows being too short and incredibly thin. I want that back.
I'm also frustrated with how long it is taking everything to grow back. The worst is my left eyebrow which is too short after my last few weeks of pulling and filling it in with eyeliner and shadow is no longer cutting it, especially in the bright sun (and the fact it has been over a hundred degrees the last few days, causing me to sweat like crazy and then worry about the sweat impacting my make up also sucks). I just want my hair back and although I know I'm paying the price for my slips and its been a good reminder as to why I need to be more vigilant in my battle, its still frustrating.
At least my determination is back and I'm finally, finally refocused and ready to beat this stupid, awful disease.
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